62068_318459611586059_1909008499_nI didn’t get to write on here yesterday because appointments at the Worcestershire Royal Hospital and seeing my GP took up most of today for me because of the miscarriage I had over Christmas and New Year.  It was the third one I had in 2014 (May, August and this one started in December).

I am going back to my fertility specialist on January 21st, and the results are in from the genetic testing my family had and they are clear – they don’t show any evidence or signs of the chromosome 15 duplication that my Frankie had so what happened with him is well and truly “de novo” and a complete one off.

Why I’ve lost 3 in a year and with my second husband Russ rather than with my ex husband (they deemed the miscarriages I had with my ex as a result of a problem he had and not with me) is now a total mystery to the specialists and my GP so more tests and hormone tests are to be done. I am rapidly losing hope and hearing things like “don’t worry it will happen” doesn’t help at all, I’ve been trying since I was 29 and I’m now 41….I have to be realistic, don’t get me wrong if it does happen I will be the happiest woman on the planet, but time is not on my side now.

I’ve also been signed off for a week with a review with my GP next week; she said I need a complete break after everything I’ve been through. I wrote it all down and it is nearly 3 pages long, and she said the whole surgery is amazed at how I haven’t had a breakdown and how I’ve coped with it all since Frankie was diagnosed with his cleft lip and palate.

But you just have to don’t you….

I decided to take the step of posting this on my facebook page last night.  The outpouring of support and messages I received was incredible, I cannot thank everyone enough who took the time to post and to help me.  I love you all xxx