I got married to my first husband when I was only 21 in 1996. I had a big white wedding that my parents paid for; think of the film “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” and it wouldn’t be far off the sort of wedding I had. In my 20’s I learnt to dodge all the comments and questions from family and friends as to when I was going to have a baby. I confess that having a baby during my 20’s was the LAST thing on my mind. I was working for Chris Tarrant’s management company during that time (yes, Chris Tarrant of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” fame), my job was full-on and I was completely and utterly career focused. However, there were times that by a law of averages I should have ended up falling pregnant with my ex-husband in those early years, and I never did. It never occurred to me to wonder why that was the case.
When I got to my early 30’s my ex-husband wanted to start trying for a baby, and my biological clock was ticking so I wasn’t adverse to the idea (using that phrase will make my husband laugh I’m sure). It took nearly 18 months and then I was finally pregnant, only to miscarry at 6 weeks. My GP dismissed it as “one of those things” and said to keep trying.
I had a further two miscarriages at 6 weeks after that, with long gaps in between each pregnancy. It was only when I had my fourth miscarriage, again at 6 weeks, that I was finally referred by my GP for some tests. I had every single thing under the sun done to me test wise, and nothing was found to explain the miscarriages. I was completely healthy as far as having a baby went, everything was perfect and the specialists were at a loss to work out why the miscarriages were happening.
They then turned their attention to my ex-husband, where they did find a problem and which was due to a genetic condition that ran in his family. I then went on to have another miscarriage, my fifth one again at 6 weeks.
Miscarriage number 6 happened at 8 weeks (or rather in reality the baby had died at 6 weeks, but nature took longer than usual to intervene) while I was in Florida in the States with my ex-husband. This was in February 2011, and by then my ex-husband and I had a software business together. Part of the trip involved going to Virginia for some business meetings, and my ex-husband flew off for those meetings after I’d just come out of hospital in Kissimmee while I stayed in the hotel there on my own while losing the baby. There was no way he could change the meetings, and thank god for Facebook and having the internet in my hotel room as I could talk to my friends and family online about what I was going through despite the time difference.
I was beginning to despair, but we were then offered two rounds of ICSI treatment on the NHS to help us have a baby together. Throughout 2011 we attended a series of appointments at The Priory in Birmingham, and in January 2012 I was ready to start injections for my first round of ICSI. I was a few days off starting these in February 2012, when my ex-husband announced he didn’t love me as a wife anymore and was leaving, and duly did so in the space of an hour of his announcement.
While it was a massive shock at the time it happened, this paved the way for a new journey and new part of my life that brought happiness and joy in ways that I never thought possible.