CaptureI cannot believe how busy I’ve been this last couple of weeks.  Not only have I been busy promoting Frankie’s Legacy and busy with my work with BT but I’ve also launched the Worcestershire Bereavement Support Group this last week.  And it has all taken its toll on me.

The group got off to a great start and I am so glad that my husband and I have done this.  The pain of losing Frankie is still as acute now as it was when we found out he wouldn’t be with us when he was born, but we are carrying on and trying to do the best we can for him.  We’ve had tons of positive response to Frankie’s Legacy as a charity and we are looking forward to the launch event on April 10th.  We want his existence to mean something and for his memory and legacy to live on.

Last weekend my husband and I had a much needed break in Worthing and the weather was fantastic.  We went to Brighton, had a Harry Ramsden Fish n Chips and met up with an old friend of mine who I met through my cousin who also lives in Worthing.  It was lovely to see him, catch up with her and my family there, but my husband struggled when talking to her about Frankie and broke down, so we all broke down.  We are still in limbo with how we are dealing with his death, and I don’t think we’ve even scratched the surface yet.

Tomorrow my husband and I will be helping to make up memory boxes and taking a batch to the Worcestershire Royal Hospital on Monday as I have to go up there for a blood test.  I think this will also be draining, but I’m looking forward to helping and giving something back.  I’m also looking forward to meeting up with Lisa Clarke again, who I met for lunch a couple of weeks ago.

Time really does seem to have run away from me.  Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago since I lost Frankie, and sometimes it feels like I only lost him a minute ago.

I still miss him and love him so much, and wish it didn’t have to happen to him.  God should have taken me instead of him, I’ve had 40 years on this planet, he didn’t even have a minute.  He deserved to have a chance at life, but he never got that chance.  And for that I’m extremely angry.