hospital1Once in the delivery suite we were shown into a room and told that the private suite was just being prepared for us and that we could go in it as soon as it was ready.  For the first two hours we were there nothing much happened, we had a coffee and I got comfortable on the bed, making small talk with my parents and my husband.  Then eventually a consultant came in to see me and explained the first part of the induction process, that I’d be given a pessary internally to start the process off and tablets every four hours after that.  I had my blood pressure, pulse and temperature taken and was told I’d also have some blood tests at some stage as well.

The pessary was administered at just gone 12.00pm and I couldn’t get up or move for 40 minutes afterwards.  I was asked if I wanted some lunch but I wasn’t hungry, although I thought I should try and eat something so I chose macaroni cheese off the menu, but I couldn’t finish it all.

So over the course of the day all that happened was that we waited around, talked and watched videos on my husband’s Samsung Tablet. I remember watching some Morecambe and Wise video clips (in particular the Andre Previn clip, the Tom Jones one and the breakfast sketch) and some Jasper Carrott sketches (in particular the mother in law one and the Australian insurance claims one) while we waited, and we also listened to some Jasper Carrott stand up comedy on my ipod.  My husband wasn’t going to take his tablet with him but we were so glad he did, as we were able to talk to people online and use it to pass the time watching videos.

Nothing much happened with me apart from the odd twinge here and there, a bit like I was starting a period, and I had tablets every four hours and had my blood pressure, pulse and temperature checked each time too.  My blood pressure was a bit on the low side, but I generally have low blood pressure anyway so they weren’t too concerned about this.

1452305_10151854172963303_2059151017_nLate afternoon we were moved to the private suite, which is called the Fay Turner Suite and is situated between two sets of double doors away from the main delivery suite.  I wouldn’t be able to have Frankie in there I was told, which was completely understandable as the room was lovely and fully equipped with a fridge, microwave, kettle and sink, but I was told I would have him in delivery room 9 which was the room right at the end of the delivery suite right next to the doors to the Fay Turner Suite.

Mum and Dad stayed all day and went home late evening, one of their friends who lives down the road from them were looking after Curley as we’d taken her round to their house.  We thought it would be easier for her to be looked after by their friend than for him to keep having to drive round to our house, even though it isn’t very far to drive.

Through all this I couldn’t believe that when Frankie was born that he wouldn’t open his eyes, I wouldn’t hear him cry and he wouldn’t look at me and smile.  I thought I was in some bad dream – no, make that a nightmare – that I was so sure I would wake up from, Pam Ewing style, like at the end of season 8 of Dallas, find that I’d dreamt it all, that Frankie was still alive and that everything was fine.

When my husband and I were on our own we found a programme on BBC2 about the cold war in the 1960’s which was quite interesting, but I couldn’t really concentrate on it.  All I could think of was meeting my gorgeous son, and how when I finally did meet him, that he would never open his eyes and see me.